I had scheduled Olive for her post-sickness checkup this coming Tuesday. Tonight I noticed she seemed to be backsliding, health-wise. Not eating or drinking again. I decided to ccall the vet in the morning and see if they could take her right away instead.

I went down to check on her a bit after midnight and she was dead.

I feel awful. I should have taken her to the 24hr ER near Hartford when I noticed she was ill again. I still have no idea what it was, because they had treated the infection in her mouth and it had gone away and she put a pound of weight back on at her last checkup.

I don't know.

I've never lost a cat at home so I don't even know what to do. I don't know the laws about burying in my town. I'll have to call the vet tomorrow and see what to do.

I held her in my arms and sobbed for an hour. She got cold. I have wrapped her up in a towel and put her atop the cat tree in the mud room where she can see outside to the back yard, and left a window open so it's cool in there (I don't know if I should have put her in the fridge or something? that seems so disrespectful.)

She wasn't even three years old. I took her in from outside to save her and she was happy for a year or so and then had such a rough time of it lately with the unnecessary surgery and then the illness and everything. She deserved a better life. I hope she was happy here. I hope my taking her in when she was a skin and bones stray at least gave her more life than she would have had.

I just lost Shelby a few months ago. I've never lost two of my kids so close together. It's heartbreaking.

I know I haven't written in ages. I'm sorry. Y'all missed out on Olive's health crisis if you aren't on Facebook. She got very very sick, I thought I was going to lose her, but she's on the mend now and I'm hopeful.

Also the kitten is a terror and I love her. :)

My mom's here at my house for Turkey Day. I rushed and got my dining room finally painted and decorated (it was sooo ugly before) to surprise her, and she loves it.

Anyway. I'm grateful for y'all and for my life in general right now. Happy Thanksgiving!

I am totally buggin! I know Ihaven't written in ages, but I just went to Utah over the weekend (Thurs-Mon) to hit my last SYTYCD tour show this year. Since I had a month or so to prep before the show, I decided to make a really special project. I designed books of my pictures for each dancer and got them professionally printed. (Softcover, but with real binding not spiral or whatever, and real print job). It cost me a pretty penny but it was fun to do and especially to see their reactions to it. Especially Melissa, Evan, Brandon, Janette, and Randi. I also burned CDs of all the pictures I had taken at the first 4 shows, since the books were only a subset.

Well, a friend on FB just sent this link to me and told me to FF to 2:22 and I just about died.



Totally made my day. I really wanted to create something that was special...that they could keep and share with their families and friends and was something grown up and classy they wouldn't be ashamed to put on their bookshelf or whatever, you know? I was very happy with the end results and now I am just floating on air that they appreciated it for real and not just to my face.

:) :) :) :)

A) I got my Kitten! She is Coraline and is basically the best most snuggliest kitten ever.

B) HElloooo from Utah! I left my house at 2am (very reluctantly shutting the kitten in the bathroom with all her accoutrements...people will be checking in on her) and drove to Providence to catch my 5:45am flight. Switched planes in Washington, DC and Denver, CO and arrived here in Salt Lake City around 1pm. Met up with Bev, got my rental car, and now we're in the hotel. Watching unending coverage of Fort Hood and getting our nerdy butts online.

C) I MISS MY BABIES

D) ( TMI ALERT )

E) The special SYTYCD books I got printed for the dancers survived the trip quite well. And i'll be happy not to bear the weight of them on the way home.

F) I forgot to burn CDs of my pictures like I promised the dancers I would. Unfortunately the laptop I have with me is NOT the one with the pictures on it. The only way I can even salvage this is to download them from my photobucket one by one and go get some blank CDs, but those will be the watermarked versions not the clean ones I had planned to give them. BAH. I let stress distract me like a dumbass.

G) Happy Birthday PaulB!

H) I REALLY REALLY MISS MY BABIES.

Words of advice, which may be a "duh".

If you have a really bad blister, if you can at all avoid it, I recommend not draining it. I left my blisters from yesterday intact and just went to bed and in the morning the swelling was down by half. By the end of today there's barely any "juice" left in them and the pain is very very reduced. Everytime I've opened a blister by accident or intent, it's ended up being more painful and scabby and sometimes got infected. I am really happy with how quickly my feet are healing. Being at home and not having to walk much helps.

Should be in ship shape with plenty of time to spare before I go to Utah Thursday and have to do lots of walking/standing.

So yeah. I doubt that's news but just sharing anyway. :)

I should be picking up my new kitten tomorrow. Squee! Hope it doesn't get postponed again. Narrowed the names down to Turtle, Q-Tip, or Coraline. Unless something randomly hits me when I"m holding her.

For any Firefly fans who don't watch Castle and didn't get to squee last night. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVZnakJJEUU

How cool was tonight's Castle opening with a Firefly reference. :) More than fleeting, even.

I love metahumor.

Just love waking up to the country having a collective conniption over the Nobel Prize thingie.

It breaks my heart how polarized this country is and now this is bound to widen the schism.

I am a bleeding heart left winger and Obama supporter and even I agree with those who say this was way way premature. Seems the guy is being rewarded for making history, not actual substantive contributions to peace. Yes I think he has the potential to do so, but that's not enough. And now this is going to cause epic "wank" in the already wanktacular political landscape.

It makes me nauseous.

I've been really wanting to get a new winter coat. Something peacoaty or military but girly and stylish because I'm sick of being fat and frumpy.

I decided to stop at Burlington Coat Factory on the way home from therapy and I found a coat I loooove. They only had it in one size, but it was XL which is what I needed anyway! :) It's very form-fitting but it's not tight and movement-restricting. It'll be even better if I keep losing weight.

I looove love love it. Even better is that I was expecting to have to pay $100 or more for a good wool winter coat. But it was $50! Score!!





It makes me feel damn cool. :)

Got all silent again. Sorry! :)

Life has been boring-ish lately. Except Saturday I went to see Ben Folds.

It was fan-fucking tasting. This is only the second time I've seen him. Same place as last time, the Calvin in Northampton. My seats were MUCH better this time too. Like 6th row instead of near the back.

I actually got teary sitting there during the first few songs. He's one of my absolute favorite artists but I tend to, I don't know...forget that? I mean I don't forget it. But he's never someone I remember to mention when I'm listing of faves. But the music affects me viscerally and it's full of beauty and memory and laughter and depth and I LOVE it dearly. Got into BFF shortly after graduating high school and the music has never left my rotation since.

He did a great mix of new and older music. At one point he busted the pedal on the piano and to cover while techs tried to rig it up to last a bit longer, he was coaxed by the audience into doing Bitches Ain't Shit a capella. It made me think of Shantytowne so I of course had to text Bill and Seth immediately. I also recorded it on my iphone's voice recorder, to surprisingly good results. (iphone did less admirably when piano was involved and the loudness set the levels off and it got distorty.)

All in all it was just an amazing night. And I topped it off by getting ice cream at Bart's because I hadn't been to Northampton in so long. :) (I also bought a cute hat and gloves in Thorne's, and then hit a costumey jackpot at Faces for my pic-whoring needs. Eyelashes and hat and mask, oh my!)

I shall sign off now. But pics from the costumey shit under the cut if anyone cares and has not already seen them on Facebook. :)

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